DOWN TIME

Ok,..... so it seems we have ALL been taking some much needed "down time" here on our blog.... well... nap time is over! We have a newspaper article, a magazine article (hopefully with the cover of us!!), the Peach Tree Road Race training/ race, a possible summer weekend trip to the beach and the Bellhopping Labor Day Girlfriends Cruise to get ready for. But I wanted to kick start this new wind with some ideas about the importance of taking a break from your girlfriend group, to get perspective. As women, we LOVE, well, really NEED the interaction we get from our close girlfriends. It's something guys still don't "get" and probably never will. But, sometimes we lose our perspective on important things, such as kids, husbands, households and jobs when we invest ALL of our time planning our next GREAT ADVENTURE. Now, hear me say, there is NOTHING wrong with planning that next big trip and getting everyone excited, but remember.... everyone includes ALL of the people on your support team as well.... the one's who WON'T be going.

I bring this up for us to all remember WHO it is that makes it possible for all of us moms, wives and worker-bees to go. Yes, you may be able to wiggle your way into one, maybe two trips without the blessings of your family and boss, BUT the fun will stop there.

Take some time to plan your trip, but in the down time, between the great big check marks on your bucket list, remember to play a lot more, enjoy the carpool line a little bit ( I KNOW it's hard), cook more favorite meals, and put a spring in your step at work.... this lets all of those "little people" know how much you love, respect and appreciate them.... and that YOU are a better person for them!!

What Makes A Good "Belle"

When trying to decide who you want to travel with, I think it is important to keep in mind the traits of any good relationship. Blake, Shannon's husband sent us this link saying that he thought "belles" should be the kind of person who would be in a healthy relationship. Although this is talking about relationships and one might think it would mean of opposite sex it also can be applied to ALL relationships! Take a look at this article and see what we consider to be qualities fit for a belle!

Not long ago, I published an article about six qualities to admire in others, and the response was extraordinary. I prefaced the article by saying that the six I mentioned were by far not an exhaustive list, but included those traits that seemed especially hard to find. In reading all of the comments, however, I was inspired to write a follow-up list that covers some of the other qualities that I, as well as others, believe to be important when looking for friendships and relationships with others.

Our relationships are vital to our mental well-being. However, toxic relationships can really do a number on our happiness and outlook on life. As a result, it is important to look for individuals who possess qualities that allow for healthyrelationships. Although, once again, not an exhaustive list, the qualities listed below are those that should be at the very heart of a healthy relationship. And, just as you would expect your friend, family member or loved one to display these qualities, it is just as important to reciprocate.

1. Loyalty: Whether it's in friendships or in family, loyalty is truly important to maintain a healthy relationship. All of us are guilty, at one time or another, of making mistakes, having ups and downs, and even displaying some behavior that we may not always be proud of. When we find friends or loved ones who can forgive us and stand by us…even during our worst moments…we should be especially grateful. That said, loyalty should never be taken for granted and we should always be deeply appreciative when it comes our way.
2. Respect: I once knew an individual who was very opinionated about political topics. She would talk down to people who disagreed with her and would be very disrespectful. Not only did she make people feel stomped on, but she left many disinterested in friendship. Treating others with kindness and the respect they deserve is important in gaining the respect that WE desire. It never feels good to be taken for granted, judged or used and it doesn’t feel good to be talked down to or treated rudely or inappropriately. There will be times that we may not always have full agreement with our friends or loved ones, but respecting them along the way is a must.
3. Unconditionally There: There is nothing worse than having someone always resurface in your life when they are in need, are looking for something or need a favor. In a culture of “you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours,” it is somewhat rare to find those “who just scratch your back,” period. Finding individuals who want you in their lives just because…and not because they want something in return is refreshing and worth holding on to. Those who are generous of heart are to be treasured!
4. Trustworthy: I once worked with a woman who, within my first week on the job, felt the need to tell me all of the intimate details of the various extra-marital affairs that had occurred with the management of the firm. She was supposedly friends with these people and I have no doubt, was told this information in the most strictest of confidences. How she felt it was appropriate to divulge this information to a new-hire like me, I still have no idea. But, it was her nature to gossip about everyone and everything. If you share something in confidence, you should be able to trust that the information will remain that way.
5. A Genuine Sounding Board: Taking a genuine interest in what others have to say and really listening to someone is important in developing solid relationships. Letting go of the “me, me, me” and focusing on the other person not only makes the other person feel valued and appreciated, but they feel that they can really talk to someone who cares. Those who take the time to really listen to our thoughts and feelings, and then help us work through difficult times and situations, share our lives at a much deeper level than those who don’t. These are individuals worth hanging on to.
6. Dependability and Following Through: I had a friend who frequently would RSVP to small gatherings and then would never show. They never explained…never brought it up…and never apologized. Although this example is somewhat trivial, it still makes the point. Obviously there are times when things come up that prevent individuals from following through on what they promise, but if a friend, co-worker or family member perpetually drops the ball, they may be sending you a message. If a friend says they are going to do something or be somewhere, you should be able to count on them. And, in reciprocation, they you.

What traits do you look for in a friend or partner? Are your relationships healthy?

THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT !

So, I have an iphone... and let me tell you, I don't know HOW I ever lived without it! Really, I don't WANT to remember. I can Facebook, surf and play Mancala during all the "downtime" in my life. Who could ask for more? Well, just when you thought it couldn't get any better.... I found BRAND NEW APPs, and they are just for travel!! I will tell you, I have only tested these, but I am sure they will really come in handy on my next trip to Europe or the Caribbean. All of these cost less than $3 a piece, and some of them were FREE!
Here's what I got : eCurrency (it is a currency converter for any place you may travel.... this is updated DAILY so you can make sure you are getting enough Euro for your Buck), Translate It! (a translator in 14+ languages), TripDeck ( an organizer for all of your trips and info that can link you directly to your airline to check in on your phone or connect with your hotel or rental car... really amazing!), The New York Subway Map, Eat-a-Rama ( which locates you and then all of the places to eat around you), Measures (converts American to metric measurements), AAA Discounts (just what it says), Urbanspoon( "local" joints off the beaten path), Vicinity (locates you and then sends you to Wikipedia to tell you something about the place, history, pubs, cafes, banks etc where you are standing.... it uses GPS... very cool!).

These things, in my opinion are a MUST and I am on the look out for more! Let me know if you you have AWESOME travel apps that I can add to my list.

Five Meals for Five Days Away

Why try? This is a great dish for entertaining or for a weeknight meal because you can make it ahead before baking and then refrigerate or freeze it to bake right before serving. If you freeze it, make sure to use a freezer-safe dish and allow it to thaw completely before baking.

Ingredients

• 6 cups pulled white chicken meat
• 24 ounces Mexican blend shredded cheese, divided in half
• 2 bunches green onions, tops only, chopped, divided in half
• 2 – 10 3/4 ounce cans cream of chicken soup
• 1 – 4 ounce can green chilies, chopped
• 3 cups sour cream
• 1 cup pitted black olives, sliced
• 12 – 6 inch flour tortillas

Preparation

• 1
  Preheat oven to 350°F.
  
• 2
  Combine half the cheese, half the green onions, cream of chicken soup, chilies, sour cream, and olive. Set aside 2 cups of this mixture for the topping. Add the chicken to the remainder for filling and mix well.
  
• 3
  Put 2 heaping tablespoons on each tortilla and roll up tightly. Arrange seam-side down in a single layer in a greased 9 x 13 inch baking dish.
  
• 4
  Spread reserved topping, sprinkle over second half of cheese and green onions. Refrigerate overnight or freeze.
  
• 5
  Bake uncovered for 45 minutes or until hot, golden, and bubbling. Serve.
  

Why try? This is a great dish for entertaining or for a weeknight meal because you can make it ahead before baking and then refrigerate or freeze it to bake right before serving. If you freeze it, make sure to use a freezer-safe dish and allow it to thaw completely before baking.

New favorite from the Food Channel -- great and the kids love it!

When it weighs more, you pay more!

One thing I am learning about traveling via airplane is that the glamorous days of flying have become a thing of the past. Getting to experience a true "fun" time of flying is not what it used to be...case in point...the paying of your luggage! Checking in your luggage can be a total nightmare! Suitcases can only weigh a specific amount and anything over that limit is subjected to an increase in money due...and this isn't paid just when flying your suitcase to your destination...on the contrary...you have to pay it to get it back home too! You also pay per piece of each bag you check in...as of February 1st...some airlines are now charging 25 dollars per bag under 50 pounds. If you go over the weight limit, you are looking at 40 to 50 dollars just for that one piece! Let me tell you, it is hard to get that bag under 50 pounds! Especially when you are traveling to cold destinations where you are having to pack boots, coats and bulky items. Unfortunately, I don't think this will be going away anytime soon. But I am not a fan at all of this...I mean, its like an extra 50 bucks just to fly your luggage! On top of the 200 dollar airline ticket you just bought....and don't even think about anything "extra" on the plane. Blankets and pillows aren't free for use anymore and all meals have to be bought. You do however get a drink for free....isn't that special?? So the one thing I am really noticing now is that people are taking carry-ons instead of checking in their luggage. That is free and if you can pack light and not worry about taking with you any aerosols or big bottles of makeup then you have it made! My next blog is going to focus on the art of packing lightly. Something I am learning with each and every Belle trip I take. There are WAY too many other things I would like to spend my 50 bucks on...and it isn't flying my suitcase! Especially now that I have to BUY a NEW suitcase for my next trip since the lovely airline ruined my suitcase on our Sundance journey! I still haven't gotten over that! Flying though is still the best way to get to your destination...not having to spend all your time driving is so worth it! Having to deal with all the little nuances of the flying experience is just something we as travelers will have to do...whether we like it or not!

Jet Setting on the "CHEAP"... FOR REAL??

So, I guess by now you are thinking to yourself.... "yeah, those trips sound great, I'd LOVE to do something like that"......"but that's not something I can afford.... that's for RICH people". Well, I'm here to tell you, YOU can afford it.... it's NOT just for RICH people.... Lord knows none of us are! So, let me tell you HOW to do it. There are 3 main ideas you need to embrace in order to start your worldly travels with your girlfriends.

The first is TALK. You need to start talking to everyone involved in your trip planning process, especially your support network. Your support network is the KEY link in this whole process. They will be the ones who pick up your kids from school, do homework, and put them to sleep at night. They will manage the household duties that you usually perform. So, it is important to talk to them and help them understand the importance of girlfriends hanging out and bonding ALONE for a few days, here and there. It's important to let them know you need to keep/find your identity as a woman, not JUST a mom, wife and daughter.

Next is PLAN. Planning is KEY (see Leslie's post). It will enable you and your friends make the best / cheapest decisions well in advance. When I took the Belles to Vegas for my 40th birthday, I had to make the RIGHT decisions to get as many people there for the lowest amount of money.... I used Hotwire for my FABULOUS rooms at the Wynn and my rental car.... and I checked airfares daily! Ultimately I sent myself and 4 other girls to Vegas in a 5 start hotel for 3 nights (including airfare) for less than $1000. That was a result of early and intense planning.

Thirdly is SAVE. This is the most important part for those pinching pennies. I am not suggesting that any one "break the bank" on this one. In fact, I am suggesting just the opposite. There are two ways to go about this.... the first is to set up your own bank account and be dedicated to add to it every WEEK. Why do I say week? Well, it's because it is HARDLY NOTICEABLE from the family finances if you are careful about how you save AND you cut back on small things every week. For example.... one way I saved money was to cut two trips to McDonald's out a week (that saved $25 a week!!!) SO, then you live up to your "cutbacks" go directly to the bank and deposit it there. Now, the second way, and what I am trying to implement for The Belles, is PAYPAL. I suggest setting up a Paypal account that all of the travelers have access to and decide on an amount ($20-25 a week) that is good for all the girls. Just know that if you choose too low of an amount, it may not be taken too seriously, so STRETCH yourselves… it will increase your dedication to the trip AND your friends.( 425/week = $100/month which means 2 “bigger “ trips a year!) Why Paypal? Well, it is not only easy access (we all use our computers constantly), but it keeps everyone "onboard" and motivated because they all can see who has contributed and how much.... sometimes peer-pressure is not so bad.

So, make the cut-backs (5 Starbucks = $25) so if you combine 2 Starbucks + 1 McDonald's trip....Voila... You'll be Jet Setting in NO TIME!!

Everything but the kitchen sink

I am a little bit of a control freak when I am traveling. I think the idea of being in a new place without my necessities puts me over the edge. Whatever the cause I needed a cure when I started traveling with the belles. I have found that my carry on is my security blanket, my pacifier, my teddy bear -- you get the picture! So, what's in my carry on that makes me feel so safe? Take a look inside my bag to see what I can't live without.

1. I always carry an emergency set of clothes. I admit it, I am always afraid that my luggage will not arrive with me to my destination, so I always carry that most comfortable pair of black pants and black pull over that can get me from sight seeing to cocktails in a pinch. I find matte Jersey is a great material to pack -- light weight, won't wrinkle, stuffable in a side pocket and looks great dressed down or dressed up!

2. All my meds that I might need while away are packed safe and secure with me on the plane. More than once I have suffered from a tension headache while traveling only to find that my Excedrin was neatly packed away in the belly of the plane. Since airlines now charge more than a hospital for a motrin having my meds within grasp is extremely important. Also, I feel much more at ease for the unforeseen emergency if I have my meds listed on an index card in a ziploc with the bottles if ever anyone needed to know what I was taking and why. You just never know and better safe than sorry!

3. Travel size cosmetics -- remember the airlines have strict rules about the size of liquids that can be taken onto the plane. I for one think this is one of the few airline rules that makes perfect sense. Too many times we have read about how liquids and cosmetics were used to harm. Besides, travel sizes are available for everything these days. If my trip is long or if I am leaving very early in the morning I don't bother with make up before boarding. I do however want to arrive at my destination ready to take on the world. So, neatly packed into a quart size ziploc you will find my travel size tooth brush, toothpaste, lotion, mineral makeup, lipstick and hairspray. The total makeover package!

4. Any jewelry that I am taking. Probably do not even need to defend this one. Just better safe than sorry! Just so many of you are at ease -- I don't take all my valuable jewelry with me but still anything chosen rides safely with me the whole time!

5. Book,magazines, and ipod. These have become my staples for my flying time. Lots of the belles choose to sleep while flying -- I'm not great at that, so having entertainment does wonders. I find the plane is the perfect place to start/finish the latest book choice. As for my ipod -- relatively new for me but great since I can load it with new music, movies, and tv shows that I haven't had the chance to watch. Perfect time to put on the ear phones and lose myself until we arrive.

6. Expandable folder with all my printed reservations, tickets, and travel plans. What good is my rental car reservation info packed in my suitcase? You never know when you are going to need your hotel number because your plane is late and you need a later check in. What about the numbers of your guide to let them know that you are on the way? Perfect place for all of this is of course the carry on.

7. Pillow and blanket. American Airlines just announced that due to the economy they are now going to charge a rental fee for the use of blankets and pillows! This is absurd!!! Besides, I can't stand the thought of who was using it last, when it was washed and where it was stored -- I know a little on the OCD side -- so I take my own. Problem solved!

8. Netbook or laptop and digital camera. I personally carry my netbook when traveling. It is more light weight and smaller. Also, I know when I travel I just need basic operating software and the netbook is perfect for that. I can stay in touch with internet via fb, email and such and I can open the basic pdf if I need to and review it. If you know you are going to be needing lots of files and specific software applications like photoshop then you will want your laptop. Either way, don't regret packing it and then something happening to it! My camera also travels in my carry on. When I travel I go for a slimline camera that fits neatly into my carry on.

9. I always pack a light snack. Unless you are on international flights these days or traveling first class you won't be offered a "free" meal. The cost for a sandwich or for cheese and crackers is outrageous. Most airlines allow you to pack an unopened snack in your carry on. I find a great trail mix, pack of crackers, or granola bar is a life saver when the snack cart starts tempting me!

10. Lightweight jacket or sweater. Often times you leave one climate and enter another. Always be prepared (Yes, I was a girl scout!). That early evening breeze might leave you chilly when you arrive and are waiting for your cab or shuttle bus. Plus, why take the chance that you might go over the 5olb rule by packing it in your suitcase.

Bottom line is I carry anything I might need to get from my departure sight to my arrival sight without opening my suitcase in my carry on. I always choose a carry one with wheels and a handle that maneuvers easily through the airport. Although I have packed for my entire trip in a carry on before that is not my objective in most cases. Generally I fly but I definitely think the same rules apply for a road trip. The carry on bag needs to be easily accessible with your essentials and fundamentals at your finger tips!

Since I often pack in a hurry to make sure that I have everything I need I keep a laminated list inside the pocket of my carry on. It makes gathering up and packing a snap!

One note -- you will notice that I did not include my purse in my carry on. I don't pack my purse -- I always have it with me. In addition, I don't pack money, passport, boarding passes, or cell phone. Almost everyone takes a carry on and many will look just like yours. Why take the chance with someone accidentally walking off with your and leaving you completely stranded!